A Perth waterpark has declared a ban on revealing swimwear, simultaneously ending my dreams to live out my full hot girl summer fantasy. Adventure World took to Facebook to forbid ‘cheeky’ bottoms, stating that they found the garment inappropriate as a family-friendly venue.
“Adventure World is a family friendly park,” they posted, “please choose appropriate swimwear when visiting.”
The post then became super problematic after the comment section turned into a cesspit for shaming women in swimwear. Like, HELLO, that’s a genderless ass right there. Instead of shaming women, we should be talking about the travesty that is all genders having to hide their glorious buttcracks. I mean, if one of us goes down, we all go down together – all bussies for one and one bussy for all.
Adventure World then took to Facebook to clarify their declaration:
“Let’s not confuse the issue. This update is about dress standards and dress standards only. It is not gender specific.”
“To those who have taken offence, we apologise. We are not the first park in Australia to update their dress standards on this subject, nor are we the only venue in WA that has addressed the matter with a similar policy.”
“As a family friendly venue, we feel it is appropriate.”
My first thought that came to mind was, how can you differentiate a ‘cheeky’ swimwear bottom from a wedgie? Hopping out of a waterslide isn’t the most graceful of experiences, after all.
Also, who’ll be the gatekeepers of the this rule? Will people be hired to walk around on bottom patrol? Will they walk around with rulers, measuring bathers in terms of their cheekiness?
These are the questions that will keep me up tonight.
