Folks, we finally know what Gwyneth Paltrow thinks about the mysterious bed shitter who fled the scene of the crime (AKA her house in Montecito).
Apparently, some insiders close to the stinky incident have claimed she was “horrified” by the whole shebang. As she should be!
ICYMI, there was a rumour that made its way around Popbitch and Deuxmoi about how one of Gwyneth’s houseguests “catastrophically shat themselves in bed” while holidaying at her Montecito abode (although initial reports claimed it was in her Hamptons home).
Instead of sticking around to frantically cover it up, the streets are saying he fled and left money for the cleaning staff to scrub the “walls, ceilings and floors”. SORRY? The CEILINGS?! Don’t get me wrong, I’m still grossed out, but also rather… impressed?
Gwyneth Paltrow and Derek Blasberg in happier, pre-shit times. (Image: Instagram @derekblasberg)
Anyway, Daily Mail reckons the man with the poo-stained fingers is none other than New York socialite Derek Blasberg. And according to their source, Gwynnie is hoping the friends can “eventually laugh” at #PoopGate.
“Gwyneth would like to eventually laugh about this with Derek, but currently there is still much embarrassment,” the insider said.
“They both know that if they are ever seen together or if he ever returns to her house, they go out to dinner, it will be the only thing people will be talking about.”
The source added that the pair know “some time should pass” before they rekindle their friendship, because it’s “just a bit difficult” right now.
“The likelihood of them being friends in the future is pretty good – she has moved on from worse events in her life,” the insider added.
“Most of Gwyneth’s friends think it is shockingly hilarious and gross, but they aren’t thinking differently about Gwyneth.”
These two won’t be able to go anywhere without a few poo jokes following them around. (Image: Instagram @derekblasberg)
And while Popbitch’s original tip-off seemed to hint Gwynnie was in a little bit of trouble for blabbing the news around town, it appears she may not have been the source of the leak after all.
“Gwyneth was lunching with Oprah Winfrey and Jerry Seinfeld when her irate housekeeper called, shouting loudly about the horrors she’d discovered, yelling about how much she hates ‘that fucking friend’ of hers,” a new blind item in Popbitch reads.
“And – most damning – complaining about the tip that had been left at the scene of the crime.”
Look, I think the moral of the story is you probably shouldn’t shit up the walls, on the ceiling, and all over the bed when you’re a house guest. And if you do(odoo)? Clean that shit up yourself!
Feature Image: Getty
