Christmas is only eight sleeps away.


Stuck for a gift for the ladyfriend in your life?

Peel yourself outta that mortal pit of what the fuck do I get the person who has everything with the Elvie - the personal trainer for your pussy.

Elvie is a $199 'pelvic floor' trainer which, no joke, acts like a fitbit for your fadgina.


As the product's website reads,

"The pelvic floor is a powerful little set of muscles that sits like a hammock between your tailbone and pubic bone. Kind of hidden, but very important, they lift and hold your core. Like any muscle, with a bit of exercise and effort, you'll feel the benefits. Better core stability, control and even better sex.

Without regular exercise, pelvic floor muscles are likely to cause more than half of all women bladder, sex or prolapse problems. Physical activities and life events, like impact sports, pregnancy, and giving birth weaken these muscles. When done correctly, simple exercise develops muscle tone and maintains strength.

Elvie's unique technology helps women achieve inner strength and control."

So you charge it, shove it up your love glove and get squeezing (like you would a stress ball) while the little nugget live-feeds your movements into the app on your iPhone. "It only takes 10 workouts to move up a level and unlock new games," apparently.


You might instantly recoil at the sight of shoving that thing up ya, but 98% of users found Elvie comfortable to use, according to the website. It’s the smallest kegel exercise tracker available, leading me to the question... how many of these exist?

If you don't have that kinda cash to splash, you could always just give these ones a red hot go:

get em girl

Source: Elvie.